Skeleton Jack » Fun

This week in Epic Fail!!

Skeleton Jack — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 22:38:21 +0000

Heya guys!! This week in epic fail we have plenty of goodies for you!! That’s right. I said “EPIC FAIL!!!”

I love blondes…

So…you put the shell in the hole and it fires right?

Where did I park…

You’re taking pictures of the wrong cat…

Midgets are just awesome!

I don’t even know what to say about this one…

GG Health Inspector…

I was wondering why this one kid was so happy and the other two were so upset…

And then I saw this pic of the store that they just went to…

That’s right, look at both of those pictures and do the math!!

Videos for this week!! Some NSFW, some SFW (if gaming is suitable…)

Skeleton Jack — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 23:27:19 +0000

Heya guys!! Time for weekly videos!! Yay!!

First up is Katy Perry…

You don’t have to like her music. You don’t even have to think she’s sexy (you’re possibly gay if so…just fyi)! The retro Candy Land setting re-imagined? That is a must see!!

The “official video” has embedding turned off…jerks. Official Video Link: Katy Perry ft. Snoop Dogg “California Gurls” HD

What? You didn’t like it? The kitten liked it!! He’s dancin’!!

Mario saves the Princess!!

Actual WoW related footage!! Ghost Crawler Interviewed!

/gasp!! get that off of here!! This is about fun!!

Hope you enjoyed!!

Skeleton Jack versus Blizzard

Skeleton Jack — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 05:49:11 +0000

Heya guys!! You remember how Blizzard kicked me from the Friends and Family Alpha because I was a blog writer?

You don’t? GG -.- Go read: Skeleton Jack got kicked out of Cataclysm Friends and Family

And then like I found out about how BRK was back and GC sent him an invite to F&F Alpha!! INORITE?!?! WTFDAIRYQUEENBBQ!?!?!

You don’t remember that either… Do you actually read this site? Or just look at the pretty pictures?! Big Red Kitty is back!!

So I decided to get to the bottom of this…

Skeleton Jack vs. Blizzard

Blizzard Flunky: Hello, thank you for using Blizzard products! We’d like…

SJ: I don’t care about that crap.

Blizzard Flunky: I’m sorry about that sir, what can I do for you today?

SJ: I need to speak to someone about my account being pulled from the Friends and Family Alpha.

Blizzard Flunky: I’m sorry sir, but this is main headquarters of Blizzard Entertainment, not our customer service department. If you’d like to go to our website…

SJ: No way!! /sigh OK, look. Do you have any idea how hard it was to actually find a phone number for you guys that didn’t involve the CSR peons?!

I need to speak to someone down there at Legal or on the Dev Team! Supposedly I’m a “risk” of some kind due to my web publication and got pulled from the F&F!!

Blizzard Flunky: Heh, you said peons… Zug zug!! Dabu!!

SJ: Riiight… About me getting pulled from the F&F?!

Blizzard Flunky: Oh yeah… What web site was it anyways? Tank Spot, IGN, MMO, WoR, Got Frag…

SJ: Er… SkeletonJack.com

Blizzard Flunky: Oh that’s a great site!!

SJ: *eyebrows raise* Really!? You read my site?

Blizzard Flunky: Not really sir, I was just trying to be polite. Never heard of it.

SJ: /facepalm

Blizzard Flunky: What was that sir, did you fall?

SJ: No, no… That was me hitting myself since you were too far away to do so.

Blizzard Flunky: That’s nice…

SJ: Look, can you just put me through to someone on the Dev team, or someone in Legal? Someone who could help me?

Blizzard Flunky: Sir, it’s not our policy…

SJ: PLEASE!!! For the love of God! I was *in* F&F and I got pulled. Someone had to make that kind of a call. Just put me through to that department!

Blizzard Flunky: /sigh I’m not supposed to do this sir… Alright, give me a minute.

*on hold*

*still on hold*

*ran five BG’s and still on hold*

Blizzard Flunky: Hello, thank you for using Blizzard products! We’d like…

SJ: Are you !@#$’ing kidding me?!

Blizzard Flunky: Oh, it’s you.

SJ: WTF does that mean?!?! “Oh, it’s you.” Did you put me on hold hoping I’d hang up and then click over thinking I was a new call?!!?

Blizzard Flunky: I apologize sir for any inconvenience. It is not Blizzard’s policy to treat our customer’s in such a…

SJ: Yeah, yeah…mumbo jumbo. I don’t care. What about putting me through to someone without keeping me on hold forever this time?

Blizzard Flunky: Hold please.

SJ: NO!!! NO, NO, NO, NO!!!! Don’t put me…

*hold music starts*

SJ: $#@ $# ! !@#$%!!!! $#@!$

*five minutes later*

SJ: !#$@#!$#$#! !!@#$#@!$#@ $#@!!!!!! $#@!#$#@! $#!#$@!

*several BG’s later with many newbs and kids on Alliance crying after working out my frustration…*

Blizzard Flunky: Hello, thank you for using Blizzard products! We’d like…

SJ: I hate you.

Blizzard Flunky: Hello again sir.

SJ: What?! No, “Oh, it’s you” again for me?

Blizzard Flunky: Oh? No sir. I was hoping you’d still be here. I just won an office bet and made $40.00 since you’re still here on hold.

SJ: I… You… WTF?!!?

Blizzard Flunky: If you’ll wait just one moment sir, I’m transferring you now.

SJ: YOU SON OF A… Huh?! Really?

Blizzard Flunky: Yes sir, one moment.

*clicky noise followed by ringing*

Blizzard Flunky2: Hello, what is the nature of your problem sir?

SJ: Thank God!! Finally!! OK, I recently got into the F&F Alpha, but apparently someone over there at Blizzard found out that I write a blog about Death Knights in WoW and they pulled me.

Blizzard Flunky2: Well, that sounds like the normal practice sir…

SJ: OK, but then why in the hell did Big Red Kitty get in?! Ghost Crawler invited him into the F&F!! And he writes a blog about Hunters!!

Blizzard Flunky2: Oh!! BRK!! We love that guy!! Tons of people here at the office read him! Funny as hell!! Oh man… So you write a blog too? What is it?

SJ: SkeletonJack.com

Blizzard Flunky2: What?

SJ: SkeletonJack.com

Blizzard Flunky2: Never heard of it.

SJ: Well aparently someone over there has because that is why I got pulled…

Blizzard Flunky2: Unlikely sir.

SJ: Huh?!

Blizzard Flunky2: I said, unlikely sir.

SJ: I know what you said, what does that mean!

Blizzard Flunky2: You don’t sound important enough to be noticed sir. It’s unlikely anyone here knows who in the hell you are.

SJ: *blink*

Blizzard Flunky2: Are you still there sir?

SJ: Yeah… I’m here.

Blizzard Flunky2: Well if that’s all sir I’ll be…

SJ: No that’s not all damnit!!

Blizzard Flunky2: Well sir what exactly…

*background talking*

Unknown Person: I told you to answer the damn phones! Not sit there on one phone call while we have other calls and ignore them!

Blizzard Flunky: Yes sir! I’ll take care of it.

SJ: WTF?!?!! YOU’RE THE FIRST GUY I TALKED TO!!

Blizzard Flunky: Damnit, I had that going pretty damn well too…

SJ: That was you the entire time?!! You were disguising your voice?! What the !@#$??

Blizzard Flunky: Yeah. Pretty good huh? Always thought I should go into acting…

SJ: I hate you. Do you understand that? I !@#$’ing hate you. KITTENS ARE DYING AND GOING TO HELL BECAUSE YOU EXIST!!!

Blizzard Flunky: I apologize sir for any inconvenience. It is not Blizzard’s policy to treat our customer’s in such a…

SJ: Don’t you dare start feeding me that crap again!!

Blizzard Flunky: Uhm…ok… So now what?

SJ: What are you serious?! You’re done humiliating me now?! How about you put me through to someone who actually WORKS there!?!?

Blizzard Flunky: Hold please!

SJ: DON’T YOU…

*hold music*

SJ: $#@!$$#$!!@#$#@!$@#$#@$$$#@!!!!!!@#!@#$#@!$

Final Score: Blizzard: 1 Skeleton Jack: 0

Blizzard Wins!

GG…

Disclaimer

This is no way actually happened. It is meant to be a humorous jibe at Blizzard for what happened to me with getting pulled from the F&F Alpha due to my being a WoW DK blog writer.

If you thought this was legit, then I have a bridge for sale. PST for price!!

Cheer Up Keeanu Reeves!!

Skeleton Jack — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 02:09:42 +0000

Heya guys!! Have you heard about this?

Check out this article at Time.com (partners with CNN): http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1996460,00.html

I kept seeing pics recently edited from this one here and I was like, “SERIOUSLY, WTF?!!?” And one of my guildies linked me that.

It’s pretty F’ing win if you ask me. If you didn’t read that article, go read it. Seriously.

There is also a facebook link about “Cheer Up Keanu Day”.

Most people spend their time mocking those in the public eye. Seeing the public actually give a !@#$ for once and do something genuinely nice? Pretty /win!

Video Fun!! (NSF…everything?)

Skeleton Jack — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:00:16 +0000

Heya guys!! As with the recent trend, I’m going to be linking some humorous videos each week around maintenance day. I used to do links of pics with great commentary on my part if you ask me (my site, my ego, heh)!!

That said, I will be far more free with NSFW content in these videos since you don’t have to see them unless you click “play”. So be forewarned.

Also my tolerance for humorous material may go beyond your own. If you think it might be offensive, don’t click it. I’ve gone to pains to decide upon a medium that my readers can choose to ignore if they prefer.

Click at your own discretion and free will.

Trent from Punchy.

I’m in an Australian guild now, so they link some *weird* stuff… (read not from earth…)

White Women’s Workout (read racial jokes)

The Wrong Hole (read not suitable language, lol)

Big Red Kitty is back!! :D

Skeleton Jack — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 03:31:22 +0000

Heya guys!!

I wasn’t really sure what to write about today until I went through the process of deleting spam comments and approving regular ones.

Big Red Kitty is back!!

For those who are uninitiated BRK is one of the best and most famous WoW bloggers out there. Big enough in fact to even have an in game item named after him (BRK-1000) and get a personal invite from GC to the Alpha F&F.

He is also who you have to thank for this website. I never did blogs. I didn’t read them, think about them, visit them, or really even know about them.

And then one of my best friends in rl who played the hunter Mythra asked me to come read this website http://www.bigredkitty.net/ because it was funny as hell. And he was right!

BRK was my inspiration for this website and why I created a blog about Death Knights. You guys have him to thank!

So, thanks to BRK for the inspiration and all of the great stories. Welcome back to the online WoW Blogging community. I’m happy you’re back!!

Mortal Kombat Rebirth

Skeleton Jack — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 23:06:21 +0000

Heya guys!! Check this video out. Highly recommend turning down the lights, set this to full 1080 HD, make sure it downloads 100% to your computer before you hit play, and turning up the speakers. And turn your damn phone and vent off!!

This was a teaser video created for WB to hopefully spark interest in rebooting the franchise. No word yet on whether it will be picked up, but this video clip is flaring across the internet.

Epic WIN!! NSF…everything?!

Skeleton Jack — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 10:17:37 +0000

Heya guys!!

This first video is hysterical. OMFGLMAO!! You need to suffer through the oddly creepy beginning to get to the special effects, which make this video so /WIN I keep watching it, lmao.

FYI, there is no nudity or cursing, but I’m not sure this is suitable for… Whatever you think. Just a heads up.

And here we have pure driving mastery!! Dukes of Hazzard anyone?

Iron Man had a kid?!?!

Lindsay Lohan and…lmao, I can’t stop laughing just hearing “Lindsay Lohan”…

Skeleton Jack — Mon, 31 May 2010 22:40:21 +0000

Heya guys!!

Lindsay Lohan on E-Harmony. Oldie, but a goodie!!

If you don’t support McLovin’, then I hate you. The End.

And Natalie Portman… I mean, she’s in the next one… There’s other stuff too. But I really have not moved past the “Natalie Portman” part yet…

First Experiences Horde Side

Skeleton Jack — Sat, 29 May 2010 21:12:00 +0000

Heya guys!! So I’ve been horde side for a few days and it’s been interesting…

Lost

No, not the tv series!! I am so fricking lost its stupid. While I actually remember Undercity well from my few short stints there with alts, pretty much everywhere else is a no go. Especially Dalaran.

First off I keep running into the Alliance side base and getting teleported out. /fail

And the first time I tried to que for WG? That was laughable, lol!! Running around trying to find the stupid WG que guy while my guildies were in there was retarded, heh.

Speaking of WG…

/!$#!ING FAIL

Tenacity. I used to hate it as Alliance. Now that I have it, I realize how fail it really still is.

Sure, if you go one on one with someone you will smash their face easily. And you can even steam roll through 2-5 other players at times as well if done properly. But when it’s a mass battle, numbers win out every damn time.

Tenacity does not, and will not, ever make up for sheer numbers. It’s like Star Craft and the “zerg rush” which was so effective. Sheer numbers can crush a stonger, yet smaller, force.

I checked out a census and the population ratio on Dath’remar is 1.8 : 1 (Alliance:Horde). It sucks bad.

Speaking of PvP…

$!@#$#!@$#@!$#@!$#@!$@#!$#@!$@#!$#@!$@#!$#@!$@#!$#@!$@#!$!@#$#@!$@#!$!$!@#$@#!$!@#$!#$!#$!#$@!$#@!$

WTF is up with the Queue times?!!? !$#!@$#@!$

I’m used to like 2 minute que times… WTF 12 minutes waiting to get into a game?! It feels like back in BC before cross realm BG’s existed.

Not happy. Not happy at all.

Trade Chat

/WIN

It’s still got some of the previous issues I mentioned about Dath’remar before, but overall it’s so much more quiet and reasonable to look at. <3 that much!!

Guild Population

OMFG seeing like 50 level 80’s online on a non raid night? /gasp

I don’t know what to think of this one yet. And for sure some people’s feathers will get ruffled here in Heretic (possibly mine too, heh ) over the next 2 months as “Core Raider” ranks are awarded.

But I am very excited to see the potential raid progression in a guild where people can be replaced on a per fight basis for the purposes of stacking raids for top end progression.

While we won’t get to see this to the fullest extent this late into the expansion, it’s still got potential.