Heya guys!!  Merry Christmas!!  It’s that time of the year with presents a plenty, holiday cheer, and presents!!  What do you mean I already said presents?!  STFU you newb.  OMFG!!!  It’s Christmas!!!  HELLO!?!?!  Christmas is a direct translation from Anglo Saxon derivatives meaning PRESENT DAY!!!!  Sheesh, uneducated people…I swear!!

You believe some people?!?  You’d think this was a holiday all about some ancient religion with a spiritual connotation using the winter solstice to convert pagans into a faith not their own…

What?  Blasphemy you say!?!?  Beware sick humor and NSFW approaching at LIGHT SPEED!!!!

And you thought what I was saying was wrong?!  Check those guys out!!  heh

No really though.  Whether you’re a Christian, Agnostic, non-denominational, Jew, or whatever your preference is…Merry Christmas!!    Or as the media has made it…HAPPY PRESENT DAY!!! 

So I was getting my WoW groove on, like any good little death knight would, and I decided to get in some PvP a while back.  Cool right?  Kill some horde, get some honor, and beat my frustrations into someone else’s face.  Groove on!!

No.  I was transported into HELL!!!!  OMFG it was horrifying.  I load in to Alterac Valley and start running to the gate.  Everything was going fine.  Until…I noticed I wasn’t staring at the back of anyone’s head…  In fact I can’t see anyone…  Until I look down.  I’M SURROUNDED BY GNOMES!!!!

Yes, gnomes just like these!!  EVERYWHERE!!!  I was in HELL!!!  Stupid Blizzard making some damn achievement where you have to get so many HK’s in GNOME FORM!!!!  GNOME FORM!!!  Yes, you read that right.  Their evil predications have expanded to force you into dressing like little midgets from hell!!  /shudder

And then someone had the nerve to use the most evil, vile, awful, despicable, horrific creation ever made by Blizzard.  The Choo Choo Train.  39 gnomes screaming CHOO CHOO CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO CHOO!!!!  Oh the nightmares…. *huddle*  I will never be the same.  And if you don’t know about the Choo Choo Train toy…thank God for ignorace this time.

So I felt dirty.  Really dirty.  So what’s the best answer to feelin dirty?  Hot chicks.  /internet surfing on

And then we found her as well…

Life was good…until our “sexy santa” search also resulted in…  I can’t even say it.

Yeah…uhm.  I just…it’s uhh…  Dude.  They’re touching each other.  And SMILING at the same time.  Call it what you like, but that is…

So…OK ladies, I don’t wanna hear crap anymore in comments or e-mails about no “hottie guy” pics.  I think I’m gonna hurl… *burp*

So I needed to cleanse my soul, body, and mind.  So I went back to my roots.  That’s right, my roots.  A Nightmare Before Christmas!!  Jack Skellington, also known as Skeleton Jack.  The Pumpkin King!!

Admitedly he’s not really a great Santa.  Well he’s a bad Santa really…

Wooaaahhhh!!!  Wait…hell no!!  Not that bad.  I mean, c’mon man.  Give my boy a break.  /sigh

So I curled up on the sofa and watched Nightmare Before Christmas…three times.  >.<  Yeah, that’s right.  That doesn’t really count the other 2 times I played it from the other room while I sat at the computer working on this post either…  /fuzzy warm feelings

So, for “Present Day” I decided to deck out my Ghoul.  I mean, he’s been a good minion and all.  So he deserves something right?  I send him with some gold over to the AH so he can get some new gear, or something…and after he walks away from the mailbox…I see this.

I mean…wow.  Just wow…  But I mean, it’s his gold right?  Psssttt.  He thinks he’s got game.  He’s trying to hook up with some of the Forsaken…which that is its own level of gross I can’t even explain.  Damn…I’m gonna hurl again…  /run

*5 minutes later and after a good use of my toothpaste and toothbrush*

So apparently Bonechewer saw a Warlock showing his “appreciation” to his succubus one day…

But apparently Bonechewer ate too many of his own brains and missed the whole part about the magical domination subjugating the succubus’s will through rituals…you don’t care.  He MADE her do it.  Which…I’m a bit more worried about Bonechewer trying to “make” a Forsaken do anything…like that…  Oh God.  Just scour my mind with bleach.  /cringe

Random tangent topic change!!

So this gnome I know…she’s ok.  Little miss Tinytot.  She’s alright…for a gnome.  She’s all talking like, “I love muffins!!  Blueberry this, blueberry that!!  And I like candy, and candy canes, and nom nom nom noms!!”  *roll eyes*  And then she talks about cupcakes.

Tinytot: Oh and I made the best cupcakes the other day guys!! They were swell!!  I mean, this new recipie I…

Skeletonjack: I F’ING LOVE CUPCAKES!!!

Guild: …

SJ: What?

Tinytot: You make fun of my cooking, and gnomes, and (edit: blah, blah, blah, blah, heh)…and you’re going to sit here and say you like cupcakes!?!?

SJ:  Uhm…lookit cupcakes!!

SJ: I love cupcakes!!

Guild: …

*shrug*  You guys don’t like cupcakes?!?!  Weirdos…

It’s all about Perspective…

Amirite or amirite?!?!  Perspective is pretty damn important!!  heh

Just remember what we learned from Alterac Valley…

So keep your friends away from Gnome making machines and from drinking too much…

Because if they keep hitting up the booze this holiday season *that* much, you never know if they end up in a situation like this…

But we do have to admit, if you see a girl do this…

Sober or drunk…we’d hit it.  Consequences be damned.  Yeah you’re right!!

Merry F’ing Christmas!!!  /WIN heh

All joking aside for a minute.

My holiday special feels a little helter skelter.  And I apologize.  I hope the humorous moments make up for the lack of true continuity.  Christmas is not my day or holiday.  Can’t help but keep thinking about my dad, and it’s throwing off my writing skills.  Very major lack of focus atm.  But Christmas really is a special time.  It’s a celebration of family, faith, friends, or anything else that you hold dear.  And while many people find this time of the year depressing I hope that you, my readers, can hopefully find that not to be the case.

And if you don’t have much to celebrate now, think about what you can celebrate in the future.  I still dream of the day where I meet my “Sally”.

She’s out there somewhere, if not in front of me atm.  I’ll find/meet her one day.  The same holds true for you guys.  Whether it be that girl/guy, that upcoming vacation, those fireworks for New Years, that next big content patch releasing Uludar…or whatever fills your Twinkie.  Good thoughts guys.  Enjoy your holiday.  Be safe and well.

Tags: Holiday Specials