Heya guys!!  Welcome to the first installment of hopefully many…

EPIC FAIL!!!

You’ve done it.  You’ve seen it.  And you’ve heard about it.

You might be an Epic Failure if you’ve been healing with downranked heals all throughout LK

True story, one of our healers is using the Clique mod (which many healers out there do).  Well it doesn’t upgrade ranks of spells, so huge amounts of healers in the WoW community have been using down ranked heals the entire time, even in raids.  Our tank had to ask one of our healers why his heals were landing for 6k.  Needless to say, we stopped wiping after his fixed his mod. 

You might be an Epic Failure if you’ve never used Icebound Fortitude as a Death Knight because you thought it only protected you from stuns.

A DK I grouped with (who was raiding) was in ventrilo listening to a convo where I told the tank how much I love the DK “Oh !@#$” buttons.  I used to always steal agro doing dps, and nowadays IBF always saves my bacon.  The DK says, “IBF?!  Why the hell do you use that?  It only stops you from getting stunned.”  LOL

You might be an Epic Failure if you’re a level 80 Grand Master Jewel Crafter wondering why you never get any Perfect cut procs on your green gems.

No lie, I’ve already cut maybe 600-1000 green gems and never gotten a single Perfect cut.  I’m sitting in vent talking to my buddy who is my JC partner for recipies compaining about it when he says, “You did do the JC quest right?”  *blink* *blink* *blink*  “What JC quest?”  After a minute or two of laughter in vent, I headed out to the trainer in Howling Fjorde…  >.<

You might be an Epic Failure if you stand in front of Sapphiron and wonder why you just got hit for a melee hit and are now dead.

So a mage runs up into the fight (on the pull) to get in front of the tail swipe.  Because all dragons tail swipe right?  (Wrong technically as Malygos does not)  Well, next thing you know he’s dead on the ground and we’re sitting there going, “What the hell happened?  We’re not even in position yet.”  To which we hear, “Well uhh…I ate the cleave.  I guess I ran to far ahead…”

You might be an Epic Failure if you’ve been doing Heroic afer Heroic and can’t quite figure out why your Reputation isn’t going up.

So a buddy of mine is sitting in vent raising all holy hell that he’s been doing all these heroics and his rep just isn’t going up.  I happened to be standing next to him at the time and saw he wasn’t wearing a tabard.  When I aked him if he had been wearing a tabard on the runs he said, “What tabard?”

You might be an Epic Failure if you’ve been flying into Wintergrasp on your mount trying to find the best place to land with your parachute after the zone auto-dismounts you.

No lie, I had no idea there was a flight path in there.  I was joining a guild raid, and when I flew in I saw a cluster of guild mates on the map.  So I went there.  Needless to say, I felt like a moron when I saw them standing next to the FP guy…  >.<  One guild mate who knew I left before everyone said, “Where you been man?”  /shame

You might be an Epic Failure if you have a Gnome Death Knight.

What can I say?  I don’t like gnomes. 

You might be an Epic Failure if you bought all this raw meat for the new cooking recipies, and then can’t figure out why Northern Spices cost so much on the AH.

Yeah…I bought 140 dragonfin for the +Str food…and then can’t find these damn Northern Spices anywhere…  You have to do a daily quest to just get 10 of these, and be a cook!!!  They’re going for like 15g for just ONE on my server.  Not one stack, ONE spice!!  GG Blizz for making it more difficult now to farm raid buff food than it has ever been in the history of WoW.  So much for your anti-farming policy for raid mats.  >.<

You might be an Epic Failure if you’re a Blizz employee saying, “Rogues are ok”.

Rogues are a pure dps class, with no hybrid spec.  They bring no real utility to a raid, and they are the only pure dps class that has to be in melee range.  Hybrid classes are currently out dps’ing Rogues.  Blizz thinks rogues are a’ok!!  GG Blizz!!

You might be an Epic Failure if you really believed the E-mail supposedly from Blizzard asking you for your login and password information to verify you account hasn’t been hacked.

GL getting your toon, gold, and items back.

You might be an Epic Failure if you paid a online company to power level your character, and then wonder why all of your gold and items are missing from your account.

I knew a guy, who did get his toon power leveled by another company he found online.  I kid you not, he did this on the same account as his main.  When they log in, THEY CAN SEE YOUR TOON AND LOG HIM IN!!!!  omfg /facepalm  Needless to say, he lost his stuff…

You might be an Epic Failure if you exploit the game in any way, and then later break up with your girlfriend who also plays WoW leaving her pissed off.

So this buddy of mine really screws over this girl, who becomes a friend of mine.  Well it turns out he uses Glide, a program that will run your account for you on auto-pilot and level you up.  No play by you required.  Well, she’s vindictive.  Like all women.    She sits there and checks which instances her ex-boyfriend’s characters goes into.  Anytime she see him in a lowbie instance, she checks all toons in there as well and tracks the names.  She then reports him to Blizzard for using a 2nd party program.  1 month later, she’s already gotten 2 of his accounts banned, and gunning for a third.  True Story.

You might be an Epic Failure if you’re having cyber sex with your girlfriend in WoW, and then mistell it in front of your friends…

No lie, the first girl I met and dated from WoW (I’ve met more than one girl through WoW) was chatting with me when things started getting hot and heavy.  We were getting into it…when I missed the auto reply button and only hit Enter instead.  Needless to say, I was harassed and cajoled by my friends for some time after that (whom did not know who I was seeing at the time) >.<

Know of a great Epic Fail moment?  Want to share?  Send me an E-mail with the details!!  Please limit it to moments that have some truth to them.  Anyone can make up a ludicrous story to make you laugh.  But the real epic fails, those are priceless.

Skeleton.Jack@hotmail.com

Tags: Epic Fail